According to family and work acquaintances, i’m one heck of a sassy/sarcastic/blunt/introverted/pessimistic /goofy/intelligent/funny/cute asshole

and I’m not quite sure what to think about all this.

literallygwen:

mailanna:

You know how some video game dialogues, when translated into English, come out a bit choppy and odd? The dialogue is still understandable, but the words and sentences don’t always flow nicely…

Well I’m pretty sure I have the same issue. I can think clearly and formulate a great dialogue in my head, but when I go to take my thoughts and put them into words to explain things, it all comes out weird, just like a bad video game translation. It’s hard to explain. 

My mom, dad, and (especially) my sister are pretty good at translating what I’m trying to say, but they playfully make fun of me all the time for it.

Also, if I’m thinking of ways to describe something and come up with two synonyms to describe it, when I go to say it, I end up mashing the two synonyms together instead of picking one. 

For example, I was talking about some mini berries on a bush and said “Aw, look at the cute mittle berries!” (My odd mix of the words mini and little)

Yesterday I said: “I’m going to be such a doofy mom” (dorky and goofy).

Or, instead of synonym adjectives, I switch letters around. For example, one day I said: “I wanna low the mawn.” (instead of mow the lawn)

That same day, a bird pooped on the windshield. I said: “The bird purped poople!”

lol what the fruzz I don’t know. Maybe I have some un-diagnosed condition. I don’t try to speak like a retard. It just happens.

Well? What’s the diagnosis?

it could be that your frontal lobe in your brain isn’t fully developed so you don’t tend to think things over before you say them, so you’ll change your sentence partway through because you thought of a better way to word it, but you don’t seem like someone with an undeveloped frontal lobe (*puts on glasses to look even more pretentious*) to me.

It might just be that you don’t talk enough, kind of like muscle memory.

as augustus waters from the fault in our stars would say “my thoughts are stars i cannot fathom into constellations”

but yeah part of the reason that quote is so overused is because it relates to pretty much everyone because nobody’s that good at wording their thoughts

there’s so many limitations in language bleh

I’m glad you don’t think I have an undeveloped frontal lobe ^_^

I made the mistake of googling my issue too. Every scary thing imaginable came up, so now I’m just really confused… and a bit worried. I don’t think its anything serious though. I mean, I don’t have any diagnosed conditions, or learning disabilities, whatever. 

*shrugs* Thanks though =D 

yay i’ll be spending $1200 and the first month of my summer retaking chemistry.

Dad doesn’t know yet. 

Oh goodness.

Now I’ll have to hear about me destroying my future and the likely chance that I’ll have to settle for something else, like a garbage woman or something.

Funny thing is, I’m going into my junior year and STILL don’t know what I want to be for the rest of my life. Not a single idea. 

You know what gets my undies in a bunch? Fan art depictions of females with outrageously unrealistic proportions. Like breasts 3 times as wide as the body and all bouncy and jiggly and perky (when you know dern well those would be sagging to the core of the earth), and then a weeeeee little waist, a huge shelf booty, all propped up on these really tiny legs. 

… *sigh*

i poop you not, I just scrolled through a brazillian (do you understand that reference) of pages with male models, and i literally did not find any of them attractive.

60% were okay. In other words, if I saw them in the street, I wouldn’t think twice about it. Forgettable faces.

the other 40% consisted of “well what the fruzz how are you even a model, you don’t even look good, like at all.”

I mean, is it me? Is MY taste in men bad?

.

Yup, I have an exam to study for but I’m so…stressed out, so enraged, my hands are shaky and I can’t see past the utter USELESSNESS and mind-wasting quality of this online book and how stupid the terms are that I am at a loss of words…. and since I can’t see past it, and I CAN’T bring myself to just, STUDY THIS ASININE MATERIAL so I can pass this class…. {#(“sl:aD’SDLFSADalsdfkma’DL’;fa I don’t know. 

Here, decide for yourself:

WHAT KIND EXERCISE STATE OF CHANGE ARE YOU IN? 

no. How about, mm, option 7: I don’t care. 

I have an extremely hard time to put any effort into things that i literally DO NOT CARE ABOUT IN THE SLIGHTEST. 

Why would you force me to memorize these made up stages? You made an entire book, made me pay 8000 dollars for this semester, to TELL ME THIS? You and your fitness freaks wanted SO BADLY to make a profit off a book, that you’d fill it with as many “trying to sound smart” terms as you possibly could? 

I cannot.

oh my god i just CAN NOT 

Mainstream smoke: is smoke that is inhaled by a smoker and then exhaled into the atmosphere

Sidestream smoke: is smoke that enters the atmosphere from the burning end of a cigarette, cigar, or pipe

HM DO YOU MEAN
Smoke from someones mouth

      and Smoke from a cigarette/cigar/pipe?

Nope, let’s just make me spend money on this book for class to learn TWO NEW STUPID WAYS TO SAY 

*drumroll*

SECONDHAND SMOKE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THIS IS COLLEGE FOR YOU. 

you’re welcome

firelightwaltz:

hey guys friendly reminder that not everybody has a good relationship with their mother so please try to avoid reblogging or posting things that might be construed as shaming people for not thanking/praising/loving their moms

thank you

hey guys friendly reminder that not everybody like giraffes so please try to avoid reblogging or posting things that me be construed as shaming people for not thanking/praising/loving giraffes because i have giraffe issues one stuck its head in my car window and ate my popcorn okay

We shouldn’t have to tiptoe around your mommy issues.

Post what you want. It’s your blog. 

The unfollow button was made for a reason. aight? AIGHT MOFO.

my grandmother is such a punkbeesh. She has to point out every flaw. 

“Ugh, look at that huge zit!”
yeah grandma, say it a little louder please. i don’t think they heard you. 

“Your feet wouldn’t look so bad if you got a pedicure.”
and you wouldn’t look so bad if you lost some weight.

“You have no boobs.”
 i am well aware of that k  at least mine don’t sag to my knees.

You know how some video game dialogues, when translated into English, come out a bit choppy and odd? The dialogue is still understandable, but the words and sentences don’t always flow nicely…

Well I’m pretty sure I have the same issue. I can think clearly and formulate a great dialogue in my head, but when I go to take my thoughts and put them into words to explain things, it all comes out weird, just like a bad video game translation. It’s hard to explain. 

My mom, dad, and (especially) my sister are pretty good at translating what I’m trying to say, but they playfully make fun of me all the time for it.

Also, if I’m thinking of ways to describe something and come up with two synonyms to describe it, when I go to say it, I end up mashing the two synonyms together instead of picking one. 

For example, I was talking about some mini berries on a bush and said “Aw, look at the cute mittle berries!” (My odd mix of the words mini and little)

Yesterday I said: “I’m going to be such a doofy mom” (dorky and goofy).

Or, instead of synonym adjectives, I switch letters around. For example, one day I said: “I wanna low the mawn.” (instead of mow the lawn)

That same day, a bird pooped on the windshield. I said: “The bird purped poople!”

lol what the fruzz I don’t know. Maybe I have some un-diagnosed condition. I don’t try to speak like a retard. It just happens.

Well? What’s the diagnosis?

-_- I am sworn to carry your burdens.